Sometimes I post for you guys, & other times I post for me.
Today is one of those days, I am posting for me- but I have a feeling/really hope it’s gonna hit home with some people. Here goes nothing…
Social media has killed my confidence.
Way back when, I had this pep in my step ALL the time. By no means was I walking around like I was Victoria Beckham, but I held my head high, stood up straight, & was just all around confident. I walked into rooms, I smiled, I greeted people, I was jolly as fuck.
MIND YOU, my back in the day was pre-Instagram (MySpace generation!), so I didn’t wake up every morning greeted by a feed of stunning women, women probably actually woke up like that, women in such better shape than me posting photos at the gym while I am eating a cinnamon roll, women on magical vacations in magical places doing magical shit, women wearing purses that cost as much as my car, Russian women so pretty it’s almost unbelievable posing with their gorgeous model like children holding a bouquet of 600 red roses (you know these women!!!).
SO MANY SEEMINGLY PERFECT WOMEN.
How could your confidence not get slaughtered?
The thing is, & I think we all know this, everyone is really only posting there top shelf moments. You do it, I do it, we all do it. Even that gorgeous Russian Mom does it- I guarantee you she is not jumping at the bit to document for the world the time when her perfect model child took a dump on the carpet & the perfectly groomed dog stepped in it and tracked it all over the perfectly clean house & then jumped on the perfect white couch, knocking over the vase of 600 red roses.
& even though we really ALL know this deep down in our heart of hearts- it’s hard to convince yourself of it when staring at the most perfect of perfect feeds all the damn time. It’s a breeding ground for making people feel inadequate, & I’m just kinda over it.
Not only does it just feel shitty to NOT be confident, not only are confident girls really the prettiest, but when you’re lacking confidence… you more often than not come off unapproachable (which is a vicious cycle, cause people not talking to you only dings your confidence more!).
Trust me, I have been here way too many times. I have had friends tell me often when they first met me they thought I was a total bitch w/ a death stare. NICE, right? If only they knew behind that supposed death stare is probably an anxiety attack going on in my head while I figure out how to not be super awkward.
Now… back to why this post is selfish of me. Stella needs to get her groove back!!! I have been hanging out w/ my BFF Google all morning & have rounded up a few new things I plan to start incorporating in my life in an attempt to restore some much needed mojo!
READY, SET, GO:
1. Fake Till’ You Make It: Dress the part, act the part, play the part. Even if you’re not feeling it, putting in the effort to look the part will make you more confident alone & then playing the part more often turns from faking it to real life real quick.
2. Body Language: body language can instantly help you appear more self assure. If your slouched over with your head down, that screams insecurity. Stand up straight, pull your shoulders out of your ears, align your spine, keep eye contact, & make sure you have a strong handshake.
3. Positive Thoughts, Positive Actions: again, I am super into energy. Good energy = good outcomes. Avoid negative conversations, negative chatter in your head, & force yourself to think of the glass half full. Even if you don’t wake up feeling positive, forcing it will eventually turn into it.
4. Gratitude Journal: at the end of the day- write down in a journal the highs of your day, 2-3 daily accomplishments, & anything else you are grateful for!
5. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone: do something everyday that makes you uncomfortable, but will help you grow. Inaction will breed doubt & fear, action breeds confidence & courage.
6. Stop Seeking Approval: Not all people agree on all things, so stop looking to others for approval to what your doing/wearing/saying. Focus on quality over quantity & ignore peoples negative opinions. Let go of the need to impress everyone, & just work on impressing the people who really matter.
7. Be Responsible: take ownership of your thoughts & stop letting every obstacle be an excuse, instead make plans bigger than all excuses!
8. Trust Your IntuItion: your intuition comes deep from within your subconscious & can be derived from previous experiences… so always listen to it first and foremost. Trusting yourself from within will help you really believe in yourself & thus- BUILD CONFIDENCE.
9. Speak w/ Intention: aka, no more weak language. Own what you say & say it like you believe it… even if you don’t. I.E. for me, I always get super awk when people ask what I do because I don’t know if they will take me seriously when I say I am a BLOGGER, but no more of that shit…!!!
10. Don’t Let Success Get to Your Head, or Failure to Your Heart: YES! love this one- don’t take things that go wrong too personally & don’t let things that go right make you have a big head. Be humble & always be learning!!
If you guys have any tips as well- LMK & if you ever see me out in public with a death stare… I probably am over analyzing 500 things & swear I am so nice and want to say hi! x, E